The engine chugs, sputters and dies.
an idea, an idea, my kingdom for an idea-
just one last ride, where the words
roar to life and spill out onto the page-
flows naturally like a rapid splashing river,
salmon leaping out the water, footsteps
dashing forward, freeing, pushing.
I want life to unfold one more time.
But maybe that’s my problem.
I remember something perfect,
but it was never that.
Push then, engine. Your belts may be frayed,
your pistons rusted, but
Throw me a draft that makes your bones ache
and let my words live.
To be clear- I am not creating a video every day in April.
But I want to create something new every day in April. I want to branch out, and I want to experiment. I’ve looked at the stuff that people across the Internet are doing and I’m always in awe of them. I’d want to follow into their footsteps, but I’d never feel ready, never have the skills or the right equipment or whatever else.
And I’m never going to have that. Unless I get up and I start.
Recently, I feel lethargic and unmotivated and unhappy. But I’d like to take some small steps and start working on things that I love, and that’s why I’m doing this pseudo-VEDA thing that a ton of YouTubers have done before.
To wit, because some stuff doesn’t fit what I do on this blog, some of it won’t be hosted here. Some of it will be here, some of it will be on my marktheredwood Tumblr and Twitters, and some of it on other platforms.
This should be fun, and I hope you enjoy seeing how this plays out.
Ladies and gentlemen, my dear readers of The Oddity Writer,
This has been a long time coming, but I’ve been putting it off. Refusing to accept it and to let go, because it’s hard. But with the new year looming on the horizon, it’s probably best to make this address now rather than later.
While this will not be the last time I post to this blog, I will be ceasing work on content specifically for this blog. That means regular personal things, status updates and series where I promoted fellow bloggers like Circumnavigation are coming to an end. Regular, daily/weekly content in general also won’t be posted here anymore at least until further notice.
That being said, I won’t stop creating. I’ve got a lot of projects in the works, and if they do get posted, I will be sharing them here. But this blog has not been (for awhile) and will no longer be, my top priority when it comes to creation from now on.
When I started this blog years ago, I was a deeply unhappy person who was lost who didn’t know what he was going to do with his life, and assumed that nobody in the world would care as he screamed his thoughts out into the void that was the Internet.
Everything that has happened since is more than I could have ever asked for. I am so grateful for the experience and the time I’ve had on WordPress. I am extremely grateful for the dear friends that I have made. And while I am very sad that this chapter of my time as a writer is coming to a close, I am very much looking forward to what comes next. And I hope that you are too.
So one last time- thank you all so much for joining me. I’ll see you in the future, on another page of some story.
Something I’ve been thinking on recently was summed up really well in this essay by Satchbag’s Goods. As a matter of fact, I’ve really been looking up to his work- it’s thoughtful and witty and his videography is beautiful. It’s really inspired me creatively.
But I worry that my inspiration is creating a rut as I struggle to live up to my sources of inspiration. I don’t want to be one of those “aspiring” writers who just left without doing anything, and with this YouTube thing that I’m developing, I refuse to just leave it behind.
So right now, I’m still voraciously reading and watching, but I do so with caution. But I’m almost holding off a bit on continuing that consumption until my plans for all these different projects have solidified.
(It’s just as well. My schoolwork is starting to flow in a lot more liberally, so of course I’ll also need to devote more time to that as well. Oh joy of joys.)
So yeah. That’s where I am right now creatively.
“Tell my tale”
My lungs scream
“You need air”
I obey the first
But I still run
And I never stop
Because who said